Archive for September, 2007
Star Crossed Lovers
September 28, 2007 12:11 amThe other day Kat and I were watching The Daily Show, something we don’t do enough because she’s a dick. But that’s besides the point. While watching the show a picture of Mahmoud Admadinejad displayed on the screen . At that moment I realized that I am sexually attracted to the president of Iran.
I don’t know what it is. I’ve always been attracted to arrogant, self-important dickheads but I had no idea I could take it THIS FAR. I think an anti-semite is hot? Really? I’ve gone from driving by temples on Saturday afternoons to check out the hot jewboys (seriously) to lusting after this dude. I’M A MONSTERRR!!!
Besides the fact that he’s a fucking maniac he’s also old as shit. Anyone who knows me can confidently say that my standards are questionable. I feel, however, that this goes beyond standards. I mean, he’s a maniac. Also, he’s old as shit.
In conclusion:
Comforting, and yet also depressing
September 23, 2007 11:02 pmThere are certain things in life that are just so awesome, it’s hard to get your head around.
would be one.
And let us talk about Girl Talk for a second. I don’t buy into his whole “musical genius” shit. I don’t really see a great difference between what he does and what DJ What’s-his-face on the one’s and twos at Club TequilaGangBang does- if a bit more complicated. Also I think it is important to note that his Grizzly Bear/Clipse/Tears for Fears “mash-up” pretty much defines the word amazing. Also: “meant for each other.” I think what he does is kind of cool, but I’m not so into it. Needless to say, his show was a thousand degrees of fun. And sweat.
Also life-affirming:
Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a good shot at all that night- my camera was all like amateur hour at B&H.
So let’s include this picture of Professor Tim Harrington making everyone lay down on the floor and cuddle. Never have I wanted to have Jim Beam regurgitated into my mouth more.
So Tim is crazy, and it is awesome, but the rest of the band is so fucking tight- like, laser precision. Seriously, one of- if not the- greatest live band(s) playing.
You can’t manufacture that sort of energy.
Idaho? No, U da ho
September 19, 2007 1:56 pmIdaho Man Blames Wild Sex for Car Crash
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
MOSCOW, Idaho — A 22-year-old carnival worker blames two friends having sexual intercourse in the back seat of his car for an accident in which his Chevrolet S-10 Blazer struck a telephone pole.
Joshua D. Frank, who is living in a trailer parked on the Latah County Fairgrounds, pleaded guilty Monday to a misdemeanor charge of failing to notify a police officer of a traffic accident. That’s after he left the vehicle at the site of the mishap. He was fined $188.
Frank told Moscow Police Department officers that he was driving the vehicle near downtown early Saturday while a man and woman were having sex in the rear of the vehicle.
According to a probable cause affidavit, Frank told authorities that the actions of the pair in the back caused the Blazer, which “was top heavy anyway,” to become “tippy” and lose control.
Frank left the accident scene with a minor head wound and returned to his trailer.
The other two occupants of the vehicle were treated for injuries, according to the affidavit, though further information on their condition wasn’t available.
————
So much is wrong with this article: dude is a Carnie, the repeated mention of his trailer to remind you just how trashy he is, and other trash-tasticness. My favorite part, though, is when Mr. Frank refers to his car as being “top heavy”. Throw Some D’s?
The reason I’m writing this post, though, is to officially declare Idaho as the winner of Sexiest State 2007. First Larry Craig, now this? Congratulations, Idaho. You have truly earned it.
Mais s’il te plaît, ferme la porte derrière toi
September 18, 2007 9:06 pmFacts of Life.
September 17, 2007 10:59 amANOTHER WIN FOR ME.
September 14, 2007 11:47 pmToot Toot: Mama’s boy on the road
September 12, 2007 9:04 pmThis post is courtesy of svenge.com owner (and my sister), Meredith. Below is a letter sent to the editor of my (shitty) hometown newspaper. All side comments written within the article were made by Meredith and are endorsed by Error 404.
DOES ANYONE HAVE ‘MAKEOVER’ TAPE?
Dear Editor,
I am going to make an unusual request. I will explain it thoroughly so that somebody reading this request will see fit to contact me. Some time ago, “Extreme Makeover — Home Edition” selected a home in Bergenfield to make over. I thought that this was going to be telecast as a two-hour, two-parter, the season opener for the program. The home is located on New Bridge Road, which I sometimes take to get to Pathmark. Thus I was inconvenienced twice by having to take a detour down streets that were not designed or built with such traffic in mind.
Also, each time I return from Pathmark I pass the new house. Thus, I want to see an episode where Mr. Ty Pennington created all of the commotion. Unfortunately, I missed it. I tuned in for what I thought was the season opener, only to find Ty Pennington squawk that they were in Nome, Alaska. (He couldn’t be farther away from New Jersey.) The next week, I don’t know where he went, but we don’t parade around in cowboy hats here. And so it was week after week after week.
I wanted my mother to see it, but sadly ABC has stalled so long to repeat it that she passed away without having a chance to see it. The fact that I missed it was not entirely my fault. “Extreme Makeover — Home Edition” relies on strident sensationalism and sob stories, so I was not in the habit of watching the show. I also no longer subscribe to TV Guide, as it kept making changes that made it harder and more frustrating to use. I might have easily spotted the show in listings had TV Guide not modified its format to one that is now useless to me, and discouraged me from using TV Guide.
I have just about lost hope of ABC showing this episode now. This is why I am making an unusual request for somebody in this area who has taped the show to contact me and arrange for me to come to their home to watch the tape, or to come to my home with the tape. I would really appreciate this. I hope that the person or persons who did tape the episode of “Extreme Makeover — Home Edition” isn’t in the habit of leaving the Twin-Boro News molder [wtf?] in the street, as too many do. And if they do read it, I hope they haven’t erased the tape since.
Sincerely,
Paul R. Wilson
END LETTER
My conclusion is that Extreme Makover: Home Edition killed Paul’s mother. I can also reassure everyone who reads this blog (all 3 of you) that any road in NJ is made to handle “such traffic”. Does he drive a fucking tank? Honestly.
Wait, What?
September 11, 2007 9:59 amAs seen on my refrigerator
September 7, 2007 3:20 pm
And just like that, another child saved!
