HAHAHAHAHHA this spam is so good. We’ll be moderating comments shortly k thanks.

Categories: aids toilet, technologic terror, wank, online terror, terrorist attacks, great use of the english language, Liz
2 Comments »

Feliz Navidad, pendejos.

Categories: liz learns spanish, alyssa's brother, balls, santa hat, maturity, jews, hootie, bonertalk, Liz
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This is the second installment in our series “Katillac’s Technological Misadventures.”

Sent: 10:53 PM Saturday, December 22
To: Mo

“If it makes you feel better, I am too drunk to function yet the sbarros in times square makes me walk down a 10 mile long fucking funhouse caliber hallway to a non functioning mud covered aids toilet. i dont care. i am hovering over that shit.”

Sent: 10:54 PM Saturday, December 22
To: Mo

“kill me.”

Categories: technologic terror, aids toilet, seven thumbs down, foot tap, self-loathing
1 Comment »

I should be writing a paper on German Expressionism and how it is reflected in Cam’ron’s most recent mixtape, Public Enemy #1, but whatever this is more important.

THE STORY: One target. Two creeps. Only one will survive. Starring Phil with Mad Game as the Referee.

THE RULES:

1. You do not talk about the mack-off.
2. You do not talk about the mack-off.
3. Getting the target drunk and going to work is not only allowed, it is encouraged.
4. Sabotaging the other’s game is allowed (includes but is not limited to: destroying clothes, poisoning, baby eating)

Actually. That’s pretty much it.
I’m totally gonna take this shit I KNOW IT.
updates to follow…

Categories: collabo, bonertalk, R Kelly, foot tap, ancient wisdom, liz = d i c
1 Comment »

Good Morning,
The baby Jesus and 7 Christmas Trees are missing from the manger.
If anyone has any information please contact Public Safety X2224.

Thank you

Thank You Fuego (via James) for this important notice. If you or anyone you know has seen Baby Jesus and the 7 Christmas Trees, tell them Sub Pop would like to sign them.

Categories: congrats grad, identity theft, jews, terrorist attacks
1 Comment »

In my quest to never have to eat again, I’ve discovered “meal replacement” drinks. I’m surprised it’s taken me this long.

They’re proteiny and chocolately and grainy (is it supposed to be?) and whatever- but I just looked over at tonight’s dinner (YEAH HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT, SOLID FOODS?) and it actually made a noise. I can’t really describe it, but it’s making me uncomfortable.

Yeah. Weeks of checking your livebookmarks and this is what you get. Is it really worth it?

Categories: haute cuisine, self-loathing, *cutz*
No Comments »