This is the second installment in our series “Katillac’s Technological Misadventures.”

Sent: 10:53 PM Saturday, December 22
To: Mo

“If it makes you feel better, I am too drunk to function yet the sbarros in times square makes me walk down a 10 mile long fucking funhouse caliber hallway to a non functioning mud covered aids toilet. i dont care. i am hovering over that shit.”

Sent: 10:54 PM Saturday, December 22
To: Mo

“kill me.”

Categories: technologic terror, aids toilet, seven thumbs down, foot tap, self-loathing
1 Comment »

I should be writing a paper on German Expressionism and how it is reflected in Cam’ron’s most recent mixtape, Public Enemy #1, but whatever this is more important.

THE STORY: One target. Two creeps. Only one will survive. Starring Phil with Mad Game as the Referee.

THE RULES:

1. You do not talk about the mack-off.
2. You do not talk about the mack-off.
3. Getting the target drunk and going to work is not only allowed, it is encouraged.
4. Sabotaging the other’s game is allowed (includes but is not limited to: destroying clothes, poisoning, baby eating)

Actually. That’s pretty much it.
I’m totally gonna take this shit I KNOW IT.
updates to follow…

Categories: collabo, bonertalk, R Kelly, foot tap, ancient wisdom, liz = d i c
1 Comment »

Idaho Man Blames Wild Sex for Car Crash

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

MOSCOW, Idaho — A 22-year-old carnival worker blames two friends having sexual intercourse in the back seat of his car for an accident in which his Chevrolet S-10 Blazer struck a telephone pole.

Joshua D. Frank, who is living in a trailer parked on the Latah County Fairgrounds, pleaded guilty Monday to a misdemeanor charge of failing to notify a police officer of a traffic accident. That’s after he left the vehicle at the site of the mishap. He was fined $188.

Frank told Moscow Police Department officers that he was driving the vehicle near downtown early Saturday while a man and woman were having sex in the rear of the vehicle.

According to a probable cause affidavit, Frank told authorities that the actions of the pair in the back caused the Blazer, which “was top heavy anyway,” to become “tippy” and lose control.

Frank left the accident scene with a minor head wound and returned to his trailer.

The other two occupants of the vehicle were treated for injuries, according to the affidavit, though further information on their condition wasn’t available.

————

So much is wrong with this article: dude is a Carnie, the repeated mention of his trailer to remind you just how trashy he is, and other trash-tasticness. My favorite part, though, is when Mr. Frank refers to his car as being “top heavy”. Throw Some D’s?

The reason I’m writing this post, though, is to officially declare Idaho as the winner of Sexiest State 2007. First Larry Craig, now this? Congratulations, Idaho. You have truly earned it.

Categories: congrats grad, foot tap, it's just a fact, cowboy hats, great use of the english language, Liz
6 Comments »